


WORLD LEADERS

by fools_seldom_write



Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - US 21st c., Real Person Fiction
Genre: And everybody hates him, And it's basically just five idiots texting, And these five idiots happen to be the most powerful people on earth, Betting, But they actually like him, Donald Trump is bi, Even Putin ships it, Everyone ships Trump/Putin, F/M, Have I mentioned that I don't know anything about politics, Humor, I Don't Even Know, I actually don't know anything about politics, I also don't know much about texting, I blame Twitter, I don't want to offend anyone, I will regret uploading this, I'm not a native english speaker so there may be mistakes, M/M, Okay now let's come to the real tags, Parody, References to Supernatural (TV), The story takes place in a group chat, This is trash, This story is only meant to entertain, Trump is an idiot, Vladimir Putin is gay, What Have I Done, please don't take this serious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-10-20 04:03:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10654515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fools_seldom_write/pseuds/fools_seldom_write
Summary: There's a group chat with the most powerful people in the world in it. Everything was fine when Obama was president. But now Trump becomes president and everything changes





	1. First chapter

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry for this. Please don't hate me

_Obama added Trump_

_Obama left_

Trump: Hi. I'm glad that I could finally archive to become president so that I can join this famous groupchat. It is an honour

May: ...you didn't know this groupchat existed, did you?

Trump: Of course I knew, everybody knows, it's famous

Putin: Yeah right

Trump: So what do you usually discuss in here? Any top secret stuff I should know about?

Trump: jk I know about all the top secret stuff already

Putin: Yes I'm sure you do

Merkel: He didn't even know this groupchat existed but yeah right I'm sure he knows everything about the country he now rules

May: To answer your question, we actually talk about anything in here, mostly chit-chat or small talk, sometimes death wishes

Merkel: For example, Putin likes to write poems and share them with us. They're always written in Russian so we google translate them and then they sound really shitty and nothing rimes and they don't even make sense but Putin always gets really exited when he shares his poems so we tell him they're great anyway.

Putin: ...

Putin: So you actually don't like my poems?

May: You know, when you google translate things they automatically sound shitty. That has nothing to do with your poem writing skills. I'm sure they're great in Russian. Bad thing is, we all don't speak Russian

Merkel: Maybe you can try write an English poem next time

Trump: So that's everything? Shitty poems?

Merkel: No, that's not everything. Putin also often drunk texts in this groupchat, it's always really funny, especially the next morning when he reads what he has done. He once sent a dickpic in this gc

Trump: A dickpic? Really?

May: Yeah, I still have it. Want me to send it again so you have it?

Trump: Sure why not?

Trump: But I wouldn't care if you didn't do this, you know? It's just, I don't mind if you send it.

Trump: Don't think I would be interested in Putin's dick

Trump: Because I'm not

May: Sure thing

_May sent an image_

May: Here you have your pic

May: You can come back later to chat after you're done jacking off to it

Trump: What?! Why do you think I would jack off to a picture of Putin's dick? Ew, that's gross!

Putin: Yeah right you know I have a whole nation who admires me but you have the most obvious crush on me anyone ever had

Trump: What? Crush? What are you talking about?

Putin: Please do us all a favour and admit it. You have the biggest crush on me and you know it

Trump: That's ridiculous

Trump: And now excuse me, I'm a little bit busy. Will be back in a minute

Merkel: ...and he's gone jacking off

May: If this isn't the most obvious crush ever then I don't know what is

Putin: I bet he only wanted to join this group so he would get my number

May: So what about you? You interested in him?

Putin: Idk. He's some big deal of an asshole. But I sure would like him down on his knees, sucking my cock

Merkel: You can do this the next state visit

Putin: Can't wait

Merkel: Pics or it didn't happen

Putin: You just want more gay porn to masturbate to admit it

Merkel: Yeah I do. And at least I'm open and honest about it, not like our lil orange friend over there

Trump: All of you have some serious issues and you should definitely all get a therapist

Merkel: Well that was quick

May: It's not big of a surprise really. Of course Putin's dick can make him come this fast

Merkel: true tbh

Trump: What the hell is wrong with y'all?

Putin: You just jacked off to a dicpic and came in less than a minute I don't think you have the right to be judgemental

Trump: I didn't jack off, why do y'all think that?

Merkel: Because you made it quite obvious

May: I'm gettin tired of this bullshit. Why can't we just talk about the weather instead?

Merkel: It's cold in Germany

May: So is it in England

Putin: It's also cold in Russia

May: Yeah we know it's always cold in Russia

Trump: It's also quite cold in America

May: Well at least we agree on that


	2. Second chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while... Well, here is chapter two. Have fun

Putin: I miss Obama...

Merkel: Dude he's only gone since yesterday

Putin: Yeah I know but I still miss him...

Putin: I miss his memes...

Putin: He always had the best memes...

Putin: They were always so funny...

Putin: And now we don't have them anymore...

Putin: No, we will never have the privilege to see him or his memes again...

Merkel: Dude you sound like he's dead calm down he just left the groupchat bc he's not president anymore

Putin: I want him to be president again...

Trump: ...

Putin: Then everything would still be the same...

Putin: And we could see his memes every day

Merkel: Are you really getting this depressed just because Obama had to leave the groupchat? Aren't you a little bit overreacting?

Putin: You can't judge me. You once cried because you stepped on a bug

Merkel: Yes because I killed a living thing.

Putin: Obama also killed a living thing because when he left, something inside of me died

Merkel: ...

May: Y'ALL WON'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!11

May: Did any of you know that moose exist in Great Britian?

Merkel: I thought that was more of a Canadian thing

May: I thought so too

May: But when I left work today this motherfucker stood right in front of my door

_May sent an image_

Trump: Wait, you just left work? Now?!

May: Believe it or not, but time zones are a thing

Merkel: Wow how did a full-grown moose get in Downing Street?

May: Listen, I have no fucking clue but it's hilarious

May: Everyone is so confused and helpless they're all just like: There's a moose. Why is there a moose? How do we get rid of this moose? How can you transport a moose?

Merkel: Maybe you should ask the Canadians for help ;)

May: xD

May: But honestly, how do we get rid of this moose?

Merkel: Honestly, ask an Canadian. I have no fucking clue, there are no moose in Germany

May: Hey Putin are there any moose in Russia?

Putin: Sure thing

May: How do you get rid of them?

Putin: Just push them away?

May: Ok so Russians are stronger than Britians point proven

Putin: Lol if you're not even strong enough to push a moose away then don't even talk to me

Merkel: I think nobody in here besides you can push a moose away just with hands

Trump: I'm sure I could

Merkel: No, the only thing you can do is being an arrogant show-off

Trump: I'm not an arrogant show-off!

May: Sure thing xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually I'm pretty sure there are mooses in Germany...Whatever
> 
> tbc

**Author's Note:**

> tbc


End file.
